


of deserving

by verivala



Series: Grindeldore prompt fills [22]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon Gay Relationship, Experimental Style, M/M, Prompt Fic, Tumblr Prompt, Unreliable Narrator, idk what this is tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 17:18:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17985374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verivala/pseuds/verivala
Summary: Prompt: "We were meant for each other"





	of deserving

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is not like my usual ones, there is no dialogue and it's more stream of thought. Hope people like it anyway :)
> 
> Keep in mind that this piece is coloured by Albus’ self-hatred and not my actual opinion of him

We were meant for each other, Albus thinks as the boy he has just met meets his eyes with curiosity instead of scorn, matches his ideas with brilliant ones of his own, who has dreams of greatness and recognition, of a world that is free and just and where Muggles cannot hurt anyone, a boy who answers to his letters faster than he can write new ones, a brilliant boy, an ambitious boy, a seeking-to-change-the-world boy. A beautiful boy.

We were meant for each other, he thinks as their lips meet for the first time, their plans forgotten for a moment, parchment left lying on the ground from the boy’s abrupt push into his space, hands finding hands, fingers sliding through hair, their mouths tasting of lemons and tea, the sun filtering through the foliage, painting shadows in the spaces between them.

We were meant for each other, he thinks as their blood joins together in a swell of magic, their hands joined, fitting each other perfectly, their powers combining and weaving together, flirtatiously sliding against each other like new lovers meeting in secret, their powers uniting, their promise solidifying, their souls tying together, closer than brothers, closer than blood, closer than love.

We were meant for each other, he thinks as the boy pushes in for the first time, a gasp leaving his lips, their bodies moulding together like pieces of a puzzle, like a key into a lock, their hands grasping and pulling, their mouths sliding wetly, greedily down each other’s skin.

We were meant for each other, he thinks as his brother’s knuckles connect with his face, leaving him lying on dirt, crying and bleeding and drowning. Drowning in guilt, drowning in his sister’s screams, drowning in grief. Lying on the soil, bleeding, he is alone, he is abandoned, the boy having fled, fled across the ocean, fled to his future, escaped with their plans, their dream, fled and never returning.

We were meant for each other, he thinks when he looks in the mirror, his heart twisting with both longing and guilt. A girl lies dead, but now it’s more than one girl, it’s entire cities worth of girls, all of them looking at him looking into the mirror, still longing for something that perhaps never existed, a mirage, a lie, a fabrication. Longing for a man who has killed them, a man whose hands are so drenched in blood you cannot see the skin underneath, a man who reaches through the mirror and stains him as well, his face, his body, his hands, his heart.

We were meant for each other, he thinks, two beasts circling each other, honing in on their prey. Except the prey is each other, and this is not a hunt but a game, both of them watching each other but neither moving themselves, but moving their pieces instead, like life was a chess game, and they were the masters, two, three, four, five, six steps ahead of everyone else.

We were meant for each other, he thinks as the boy who is not a boy any longer is dragged screaming to his tower, disgraced and defeated, trapped in the hell of his own making. Trapped because death would be mercy, and he is selfish and cruel, and not feeling like granting mercy. The boy imprisoned and forgotten, locked away from the world and from him, out of sight but never out of mind. Trapped and forgotten, his reign is over, long live the King.

We were meant for each other, he thinks every time a lie leaves his lips. Craving for their approval, their admiration, presenting a flawless image of himself for their observation, feeling sick of himself but craving it, their idolatry, their praises, craving it like he craved power, power that he still craves for in his dreams, dreams from which he wakes up gasping, his hands shaking, stomach lurching. It is not a nice thing to know of oneself, so he smiles, tells jokes, dresses himself up, acts in ways that shock and confuse, pushes them away, makes them forget who he is, what he has done, makes himself almost forget it too.

We were meant for each other, he thinks as he looks down on the boy with a scar and no parents and knows he must die. Another lamb destined for slaughter, not suspecting anything, trusting him to steer him to safety. This is what he is doing, but he does not want to do this, this is not who he wishes to be, not any longer if he ever did, but he will do it, he will do it if he has to, he will do it for the _Greater Good_ , he will do it even if it pains him.

We were meant for each other, he thinks as his death creeps upon him slowly, his foolishness proven, his weakness, his craving for forgiveness that no one living can give.

We were meant for each other, he thinks, as he orders his own execution, just another stage in the plan, just another piece that needs to be sacrificed, just another lie before the end.

We were meant for each other. The two of us. Both liars and fools and cowards. We were meant for each other.

But I did not deserve you. 

And you did not deserve me.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked whatever this was, please leave a comment! <3
> 
> My Tumblr: bloodtroth


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